Anyone Else Struggle With Relationships Because Of Infertility And Endometriosis?

Question

My sister in law died seven years ago from breast cancer and my husband and I were really close with her and her husband (my brother in law) and godaughter/niece. The relationship with my brother in law has been real difficult. My husband and I were treated with such disrespect and I am talking seven years and two girlfriends later. We have been going through infertility for seven years and I am struggling with anxiety and depression. Also anger and biterness over all of the drug addicts and teenagers giving birth that I wind up supporting through tax money while tax money provides very little if any support for people with infertility. We have shown up for my brother in law to four hour dance recitals, coffee with girlfriends and bbq's with girlfriends for several hours. I was friends with my sister in law and friendly with my brother in laws. As a family me, my husband and brother in law and wife did a lot together. Lots of good memories. I tried to continue the tradition reaching out to my brother in law to make plans for special occasions for my husband. At first he blew us off by telling us he didn't know his schedule and always having plans by the time we called back. Then after he started dating girlfriends he wanted us around when he was dating a girlfriend that was close to her family and wanted to make a good impression that he had a good relationship with us. We came anyway in an attempt to kind of get back some of what we had loss. We had a couple of good conversations that seemed to be moving things in the right direction. However he was still rude and disrescpectful and seemed entitled to his time. When my sister in law was going through breast cancer treatmet the 2nd time I educated myself. He seems to have not educated himself about endometriosis or infertility at all. Actually made jokes about me getting pregnant when he knew we were struggling with infertility. I literally sat next to him on the couch and he cried on my shoulder. We have been going through infertility fo 7 years and he said to me one day "you are still grieving over my wife."  He didn't seem to give a shit about my infertility and the grief &amp; anxiety it caused. Now all the sudden after years of not coming to family occasions he and his brother want to reconcile so they DEMANDED we come to Xmas. My other fuctional alcoholic brother in law was making rude comments and fighting with people the entire time. Being around them triggered anxiety. Neither he nor my other brother in law apologized. Yet I don't want my husband to lose his family but I hate being around both of these men and want to scream at them. I know I am also emotional because of the endo and infertility, but now next weekend they told us they are having a gathering for my mom-in-law on Sunday and we should be prepared to pay for 1/3 of the cost without asking us if that was ok. My husband is a very nice person but he says you can't reason with unreasonable people and not to bother fighting.

A MyEndometriosisTeam Member · Accepted Answer

Ugh I hear ya some family members think they have the right to judge you and be blunt and rude especially if they think you wont say anything back im kinda partial to the word WOW its all in the tone you say it in your not attacking but it does let them know how you feel just a thought power to you hon 💪🙋

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