How Do You Let Your Friends Know That They're Still Important To You, Even Though You Can't See Them As Often? | MyEndometriosisTeam

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How Do You Let Your Friends Know That They're Still Important To You, Even Though You Can't See Them As Often?
A MyEndometriosisTeam Member asked a question 💭

Before I got so sick, I spent a lot of time with a couple different groups of friends. We would go out together, or I'd have them over to our place. Now, I find myself constantly having to refuse get togethers, even one on ones, because I'm in so much pain. I never want to be too far from my heating pad, medication, bath tub, and bed
I feel myself getting more and more isolated and I really want to find a way to stay connected with my friends, even when I can't see them face to face. My… read more

posted August 29, 2016
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A MyEndometriosisTeam Member

I have been having the same issue. I try to make local outings if I can, but like you, I never want to be too far from my home. I keep up with my closest group of friends via a group chat app called GroupME, but I also invite them over to my house for wine or movie nights. Just causal so there's no pressure if I'm feeling bad that day. I share articles with them as well so they can better understand why I can't always go out. Sometimes, certain friends don't understand and that hurts, but true friends will happily come visit you! I found an awesome in home nail tech so I've had friends over to get nails done. I've also hate shopping alone so I'll invite close friends to hit the stores/run errands with me. Hope this is helpful! Good luck!!

posted August 29, 2016
A MyEndometriosisTeam Member

I look at it this way, the friends that get mad at you for being sick were never your friends to begin with. I wouldn't worry about it. Believe me that is how I feel and sticking to it. It's become a little lonely. It's become harder because my phone stopped ringing as much but you find other ways to entertain yourselfr.

posted August 31, 2016
A MyEndometriosisTeam Member

I have a friend who unless I say I am unwell (she knows what I have but doesn’t understand that it’s not always just pain that stops me from getting out and about) she understands that I need to cancel plans- what we have is so unpredictable as we all know! But she doesn’t understand that if I am feeling better after a flare up that I need a day to get back on track so I can work. She gets Angry at me and constantly askes how I am so now instead of being honest, I just say my doctor said to take it easy to be sure my flare up has passed. She tries so hard not to be offended but I know her well enough to know that she is taking it personally.

My best friend and I of 20+ years and her daughter (my god daughter and niece) have totally cut me from their life after me not being able to go and see them. My friend had been by my side through diagnosis etc but just told me they (the daughter is 19 now) don’t include me anymore because I never come.

I asked why they wouldn’t come to me, she tells me she can’t afford the petrol and car journey time of 30 minutes so I have to go to them. She had stopped asking me about how I was about 6 years ago despite being in hospital for pain management several times literally 5 minutes from her home. But couldn’t make the time to see me.

My partner understands and so does his friends, who are now my friends.

It really hurts to know that people who are women, and are aware of PCOS, PMDD, endo and adeno just think that you are being lazy!
I’m just trying to hold down a job. That’s my life now.

posted April 18, 2019

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