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Hi Ladies! I was wondering for those of you who knew you had Endo before you started dating someone who became your BF, GF or whatever when did you tell them about your Endo stuff? I've been seeing this guy who I really like and hope becomes my boyfriend at some point but I don't know exactly how to talk or tell him about my endo stuff. I'm terrified he will freak or get weirded out plus I've had a partial hysterectomy so I feel like that's a big issue for some guys. And obviously if we become… read more
Personally, I think it depends on each relationship and if you think it will become serious or if he is just a guy you want to date and cannot see yourself with him in the future. I dated this one guy for a few months but I never mentioned it partly because I know this wasn't forever. After him I started to date another guy, things became serious and right from then we were honest with each other. As we get older the more we want so we put everything on the table. We talked about marriage, kids and my endo. Trust me it wasn't easy, I was scared to know what he thought or if he was OK with it. But I think it's good to be honest and get it out of the way early just in case they are not okay with it and you invested all this time into the relationship. That serious guy is now my husband and I am lucky that he is so understanding about everything. I show him research and talk openly about it to spread awareness. I hope this was helpful!
Like Kendall said, it depends on each relationship and the person. Often the best relationships start as just friends. Do they have a sister? I know that sounds strange. It's easier to talk about it though with those who have sisters. They're slightly more comfortable around certain topics than other guys, they can deal with it in a way that's otherwise more uncomfortable and embarassing.
It also depends on how you deal with Endo. You can't change the card deck you're dealt with in life. You can change how you deal with it. Does that make sense? There's ways of very subtly slipping it in which can be better than just laying it all out and being too blunt.
@A MyEndometriosisTeam Member Hopefully once we become more serious and official I plan on being intimate. I haven't had sex since my partial hysterectomy so idk if I'll be in pain but because I have had pain previously having sex I'm guessing that'll be the same so that's why I really want to be open and honest so he knows. He's got a younger sister he's super close to and mom so I know he has sympathy with women because he was very sweet when I told him I had bad cramps. I rather be open and tell him hey due to this illness when I have sex it isn't always fun or pleasurable so don't be offended or think it's you hurting me. I'd feel horrible if he thought he did something hurtful to me because I didn't confide in him!
@A MyEndometriosisTeam Member Thank you so much for your answer! My guy has a younger sister he's very close to so that's something I will definitely keep in mind! Plus he's very close to his family and mom so he has sympathy towards women. I told him I was having bad cramps the other night and he was very sweet and offered to help me if I needed anything! :) So obviously this isn't something that grossed him out. But I know Endo is a different convo!
@A MyEndometriosisTeam Member Thank you so much for your answer and help! This was actually very helpful! :) Like you said I'm not sure if he is someone I can see myself being with forever but hopefully over time that's something I can start to notice. I do agree that as we get older the more we just want to lay everything on the table and a strong part of me does want to mention this to him if we become serious and when it's more appropriate. I want to know if he is OK with it and if not at least I didn't waste both our time. I'm glad to hear the other guy you dated and were open and honest with became your husband and he is understanding about everything! :) Thanks again!!
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